I wish I could tell you how much I look forward to our conversations, however brief they might be. I wish I could compliment you to your face without fear of making things awkward for the two of us. But I can't, I mustn't. We can talk of anything and everything beneath the skies, but never are we allowed to broach the topic of "us". To do so would mean risking everything. The comfort zone which we have built around each other, the pedestals that have been raised, they would all come tumbling down, crumbling into pieces. It could mean the betrayal of a trust, the shattering of a sacred friendship.
Dare I risk what we have now, an easy flow of dialogues beyond time and space? Dare I face the possibility of being decimated should you find my advances unbecoming between two friends? You probably would find it so overwhelming that you need to withdraw yourself far away from it. That will crush me. Indeed, I value our friendship as I do to the last drop of water on this earth. I cannot allow myself to feel more for you. I shall be destroyed should you reject, as I know you will. No, I rather savor each moment we have together. I rather be disappointed that you never saw me as the one, than to live without your wit and your kindness.
I am honour bound to put aside my personal agenda. Friendship first and foremost. Perhaps my ardor will subside over time.
p.s. This is a fictional piece, not applicable to anything actual in the author's life. If there is, it is purely coincidential.
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