Part of growing up a nomad is realizing there will be places you won't return to or people you will meet again. That doesn't mean, however, that you don't have homes or families spread all over should you are in need of either. 

Therefore, take heart fellow travellers. While it is easy to feel lost in a world ever descending into chaos. Always, there is a hearth waiting, a seat reserved, and a smile meant just for you. If you haven't found those, then it starts with you to make them available for others. 

The world will forever need people to open their hearts, their minds, and their palms. The world needs people who are ever ready to embrace others with all they have got. If you are reading this, then you are one of them.

"No man can serve two masters: for either he. will hate the one, and love the other; or else. he will hold to the one, and despise the other, Ye cannot serve God and mammon." ~ Matthew 6:24

We are living the consequences of elevating inanimated objects above human lives. When corporations, the economy, and buildings are given priority, then humanity is reduced to a series of numbers and acronyms (e.g. FTEs).

From there, it is not a far leap to entertain the notion that there is such a thing as maximum allowable human lives lost as the cost of doing business. That is where we are now. We went from believing that all lives are precious, and all souls must be protected at all cost, to we can't save them all, some must die that others may live - that is an acceptable sacrifice.

Worshipping the inanimated has removed us from the stewardship of the living. When one argues one has the right to congregate in a building, one has the right to support the economy, the unsaid thought is those rights supersedes all humanity.

But for what and whom do we live? How do we justify that? How do we comfort the bereaved who shall never hear, see, smell, or touch a loved one? How do we convince those on the front lines that they are heroes whilst we do little to truly honour and support their sacrifices? Do we give lip-service saying "thank you for being a martyr, now let us get on with our lives, to pursue happiness unfettered?" That just does not compute.

At the core of any society and religion should be the basic premise that we serve one another. Yet, what we are witnessing on a massive scale is the failure to adhere to that very tenet. What we are witnessing is the relegation of souls and lives to ones and zeroes. That is a frightening thought. One cannot serve two masters. Choose wisely for our very souls are at stake.

I wish I did more

 Some days I wish I can do more

I wish I can take away the pain, the fear and the hurt

I wish I can make you smile, heck, I would even settle for a grimace

I know the world can be a dark and scary place at times

I know what it feels like when things fall through

When all that you planned, hoped and desired collapse

I have confronted that bleakness myself many times

And G-d willing, I will go back many a time more

Because each time I come back deeper than before

I know the gradient of darkness

I am well acquainted with the strata of silence

And so will you my friend

Because if someone like me can make it

So will you

But if you are not sure, then sit by me for a while

Let me tell you that it is going to be alright

May be it is not the "right" that you have in mind

But if you trust it, life will do right by you

I believe that, I truly do

So, if you need a friend this night or any night

Know I am here

I will walk with you as far you want me to

And I will stay behind should you need an anchor

But wherever you go

Rest assure you will always have a comrade in arms

 I have a love-hate relationship with bridges. As a child of a civil engineer, I am in constant awe with the science behind building a sturdy reliable bridge. I also like the idea of bridges, what they signify in different cultures - connection, closure etc. As an amateur photographer, bridges make great subjects - the angles, the architect etc.

Yet, I have often found bridges a lonely place to be. In order to bridge places and people, you have to be stuck in the middle. You alone truly know the dangers that lies beneath you. You alone hang in the proverbial limbo. Many walk over you without a care the the world. Few ever stopped to ponder what you have weathered.

Also, despite it being two way, I have been often made to feel as if I am leaving something behind with each bridge that I have crossed. I have been made to wonder if I will ever cross this way again... so far the answer has been more often naught.

I have crossed many bridges in my life, figurative and literal, often on my own. With each one I have often wonder what it would be like to cross it with someone. Someone who appreciates the deep magic of a bridge, someone who doesn't mind stopping at the highest or center most point, or any where along the way for that matter to capture the moment.

Be safe, and say the things

Bear with me, I have often tried to keep things light here. G-d knows the world needs a little levity. My own personal rule on social media has been to try to have a little balance - post something light then post something thoughtful, but not depressing. But if you will, allow me to get a little real.

I... I don't want to become good at writing eulogies. I know the reality is at one point or another, people we love and hold dear will pass on. And I want to do my darnedest to keep their memories alive, to write from my heart and to pay tribute. But the place from which I draw my inspiration, the memories, the sentiments, it takes a lot, as I am sure anyone who is familiar with grief understands intimately. So I beg of you, please be safe and well as best as you can. 

I don't know how or where or when I learned this, but from earlier on I have conditioned myself to grief in private, to cry in my own time. I think I have gotta pretty good at being clinically detached, or maybe I have gotten really good at lying to myself. I can compartmentalize and delay grief like nobody's business, and I have enough gallows humour to come across crass. But the truth is, when it hits, it hits hard. 

My faith allows me to believe it is to a far better place that the dead goes. But that does not lessen in anyway the forlornness that I experienced. I would also be lying if I were to say I am not painfully aware of the fact that it is presumptuous of me to think I am immune to death. I'd like to think I have made peace with it, but until I am there, I don't know. 

I don't know... what I am trying to get at is this, in case I haven't say it or demonstrated it, know that my love for each of you is great. I hope we don't have to wait until it's too late to express how we feel, and I certainly don't want it to be when I am writing a eulogy. 

So... take the time to express your feelings. Egos and pride be damned. Say what your heart tells you to say, however awkward it may become. Love is love, and it is the one thing you should not keep under a bushel. So, here's to each and every one of you who has touched my life and made a difference. May you feel loved as I have strived to love.

Am I good enough?

In my life, I have struggled with being not good enough.
I am not that smart, I suck at maths.
I am not athletic, I don't play sports.
The list goes on and on.

I am used to be being forgotten and overlooked. 
Like animals at a shelter or a pound, 
Waiting eagerly to be fostered or adopted
But days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months
And still, I remain, wondering if I will ever be good enough.
Try as I may, I am often left feeling maybe I just wasn't good enough. 
Maybe it wasn't meant to be, maybe I don't deserve this or that.
I would keep trying, to go out of my way to be the best that I can be.  
But there remains this doubt, that maybe I am just not good enough. 
Yet, you take that doubt away from me, and what will I become?
Will I remain this caring person who knows what it is like to be not good enough? 
Will I continue to work just as hard to uplift others in their moments of crisis?
Will I connect as deeply?  
Will I remain a champion for the underdogs, the oppressed, the needy, and the sick?
So, today I may still feel like I am not good enough, and maybe I will never feel good enough. But maybe that is a blessing in of itself.
Because there is still enough of me to be good, and maybe that's enough, for now. 
So to those of you out there like me who struggle,
It's ok to be not good enough, just try to be good,
The "enough" part will come.

I did not lose my smile

I did not lose my smile
Through the hardships, the heartbreaks, and the despair,
I did not lose my smile.

Even when the world is upside down,
And there is just cause to wear a frown,
I did not lose my smile.

True, I may have buried it beneath grief before;
I have also used it to build a facade, a wall.
But I did not lose my smile.

I did not lose my smile
For upon it hinges hope
And a firm belief that better days will come.

So I held on to my smile.
It may be tucked away, hidden by a mask.
But I did not lose my smile.

So, if I did not lose my smile,
Don't lose yours,
For I want to see mine reflected in yours.