Wednesday, December 19, 2007

A Bum's Reminiscence

The following is a monologue about a bum reminiscing his divorce from society and his old life. Enclosed in brackets are suggestions of gestures and expressions when performing it.

Additional instructions: Picture the bum sitting on the steps leading to a grand edifice. Throughout the piece it is important to remember that this "bum" was once a upstanding citizen of the society, hence one needs to observe the traces of elegant speech that has since been diluted and punctuated with gruff street talk.




I remember there was a time when I was somebody. Yep (pause, look far away deep in thought, as if confirming), I had a name, and social security. (Pause) I had a purpose, or at least I remember there was a regularity that is driven by something. I could do no wrong. Literally. I was at a peak in all regards- mentally, emotionally, physically. I know I was, I was welcomed and accepted at places, you know, fine restaurants, clubs, gyms, the such. Here, let me show you (act as if reaching for a wallet, pat the back pockets, the breast pockets. Frowns when seemingly coming up with nothing)

I remember owning a wallet, got to be here somewhere (keeps patting for a little bit longer) I remember it being filled with receipts, visas, and membership cards. Funny how much a wallet can tell you about a man, where he belongs, what he does, whom he is close to, and how much is in his account. What a concept, a wallet gave a man his status. It supplied him with currency, not just little cotton sheets with dead presidents on them mind you, I mean real currency, the kind that gets you into exclusive places. I owned one of those. (stops patting, and give a "hmm" before continuing on) 'Course, it isn't much use to me now. I belong to a bigger club, see. No need to carry documentation or currency, don't need it. I am enough, I am recognized without pulling anything out to show for it. Kind of nice, you know. Member of the greater community you may say.

I was somebody to somebody then (smiles as if remembering something fond. The smile suddenly fades, and brows furrow again)... at least I thought I was. I can't quite remember now. Memories, they can be so wispy. I suppose it is a good thing. There are just too many things that one shouldn't hold on to, right? (chuckles, as if telling a private joke) Like these here my belongings, (waves hand dramatically over his clothes and the shopping cart next to him), they are all that I have now, and I can do with a couple less too. (Chuckles again) Heck, I could do with a lot less... (voice trails off...), but I am cutting back, see, just one cart and these clothes on my back? On my back, funny how that phrase is? I used to remember clothes that hugs me snuggly (pauses) frames me. Now, I am just glad to have clothes that stays on for keeps; hanging, dangling upon my frame.

(Sighs) I was somebody then. I remember when I could walk into any of these buildings and not cause commotion. I fit in. Now, well, now I part crowds. I blend in better with these pillars and columns (looks around, arches head back and forth). I have gotten accustomed to them. I have come to know every inch of them, every marble,every tile that supports them (gestures grandiosely around, as if pointing to each tile). They have been kind to me, these cold stones, warmer than the hearts of these folks whom I once could walk alongside (looks as if someone is walking up the steps towards him). At least I don't seem out of place out here; ... just like I wasn't out of place inside then. Ah well, you can't be accepted everywhere, I have learned that much.

You know when it all ended for me? The day I became a nobody? It all happened one fine autumn day. Yep, that much I remember, it was an autumn day. It wasn't spring, no, spring provided me with a spurt of new growth in all directions. It was filled with hope. The day I got let go, well, there wasn't much hope now was there? It wasn't summer, I remember summer being quite passionate... I had reached my personal apex. And I know it wasn't winter, because, well, winter was blurry, so it has got to happen before then, just before then. I was let go, just like that! (Snaps fingers, and then make gesture of falling) Let go unceremoniously like a leaf that has served its purpose and must leave the branch it nourished before it became a burden during winter times. Oh, it was a slow descent to where I am now. I dawdled for a bit, buffeted here and there, confused, spiraling down, down, down. And I remember looking back up from where I fell. I could still see where I once perched, tall above me, still growing strong, still reaching for the skies. Whilst I... I lie there in that snow, trampled upon, slowly whittling away, becoming dry and brittle. Yep, I think that was when I had everything beaten out of me... don't remember much since then. Life was slowly dehydrated, sapped away. But hey, its all good, I mean look at me. I have never been more carefree. One day at a time. I am a light weight, wandering wherever the wind blows.

Sure, sure, I miss some of the niceties. Wouldn't mind the feel of crisp bill fold now and then, a bath. A cup of hot soup, and a roof over my head. But you know... it is still nice. I used to own a half acre, one story, driveway and a backyard. Now, I have multiple homes, all climate control, granted I need to work on the control part. But hey, what house is not temperamental? (laughs an edge of insanity) Yep... I lost everything a while ago, but I have learned since then I need not hold on to anything anymore... yep.

The only thing I miss about that life... well, a smile meant just for me.

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