Necessity of evil (draft)

During college I took a course in Philosophy of Religion.  Among the various subjects that were discussed was the necessity of evil; the notion that evil not only exists but is necessary.  I don't recall much of the theories, the proponent and the dissidents  (I do apologize to my professor for she taught the subject well, I am just a poor student), I do recall it being a rather sensitive subject sparking off passionate diatribes.  

As someone who was brought up in the Eastern thought of Yin versus Yang, it was a given to me that evil exists, and that a higher, omnipotent, omniscient being who has all qualities of good would allow it so.  Yet, it was not until recently that I began fully to appreciate just how much evil can exist, and that it is necessary for goodness to follow.  

One of the things I struggled with early on was the notion that G-d can be evil, and that He ordains it so that His triumph is more apparent.  For example, it was necessary for Judas to betray Jesus, there was no other option, it was pre-ordained.  To me, that was the crux of it all, that Gd allows for evil to happen, that it is necessitated in order to drive home a point.  

The past few months, I have struggled tremendously against what I thought was pure evil.  Perhaps it is not evil in the heinous sense, the likes of Hitler and Pol Pot, but evil nonetheless.  I met up against evil in its sneaky form- of pettiness, of selfishness, of egos.  I saw the devil in its artful attire- the one that reminds us that before they were called the fallen, they were once angels.   Yes, there exists evil that knows how to come off looking all saintly and righteous.  There is evil who makes the oppressed come across as paranoid and unreasonable.  It is a most frustrating thing, evil that does not fight fair.  

What is more frightening is the realization that I am very much capable of that same evil, to fall readily to that level.  It is like entropy, the natural order of things to reflect the evil that I see in others within myself.   Oh, how delicious my thoughts became when filled with notions of vengeance, of righting the wrongs, of making those who have brought evil rue the day they did so.  Yet, by those very thoughts alone, I became equally guilty.  I failed to realize that evil is perhaps necessary to bring out a greater good.  Oh, it is so easy to sink to their level, but that is not the point.  The point is to see beyond, and realize something good, something better will come out of it, and that it is within us to be greater, to rise above the evil we see, and overcome it.  

It behooves us to stand against evil, even when it may appear we are severely outclassed. It does not follows that if we can't beat it, we join it.  No, evil does exists, and it is hard to beat it, but the solution is not to join in, however easy that may be. Evil exists, but it cannot do so without the very goodness that we are equally capable of manifesting.   I shall know evil by its name, and I shall seek to be better, and not the same.  I shall not be made to bow low, to be debased nor relegated to a reduced sense of self by resonating evil.  No, I am greater and better than that, and I believe that goodness runs deep, especially in the face of evil.   Evil is necessary to magnify the godness in goodness.

I hear you Lord

When was the last time I enjoyed solitude and tranquility? It seemed such a long time ago since I  last made myself stop to sit and be still. It has been such a long time since I have listened to the voice of my own heart, and be comforted in knowing that You are still within me. Yea, I have wandered far, driven by my own desires. So far that I no longer recognized Your calling until now, when I am made to stand and survey the mess about me. My plans have fallen apart, and I no longer know where I stand and what I should do next. Far into the land of shadows I have ventured, but I know that somewhere there is light for neither shadow and light can exist without the other; just as there can be no faith without the doubt. So draw me to You once more, let Your grace relieve me of my sorrows. Let Your love soothe all the pain that has wrecked my whole. Hear me, for I know despite me being blind and deaf at times, You see me and hear me always.

Defining Professionalism

“They are intriguing people.  From the moment they wake, they devote themselves to the perfection of whatever they pursue.  I have never seen such discipline”
~ Nathan Algren, The Last Samurai


What comes to mind at the utterance of the word professionalism?  What images does it conjure?  That of stoic men and women marching towards peril whilst many others fled in the opposite direction; such as firefighters and soldiers are often found to do.   Or is it that individual, that singular individual who is usually the first to show up and the very last to leave a workplace;  who constantly puts us all to shame simply because we are inclined to place them on a higher pedestal to begin with by virtue of their merit.  Regardless of what that image is within your mind, I do believe it is safe to presume that the word professionalism impress upon us a notion of something pure, something noble, something sacred.  When we think of professionalism, it is often linked with other adjectives like consummate, culminate, and apical; as in “Tom is the consummate professional, he has attained culmination in the arts and science of his chosen profession”.    Yet, what exactly is professionalism?  I shall endeavor to answer this here in the next few paragraphs using the structured offered by Dr. Loh’s article published in 2000.

In perusing the literature, there exists a plethora of definitions for professionalism.  Amongst these, perhaps the most succinct and often cited definition comes from Dr. Loh’s 2000 article entitled ‘Professionalism, where are you?’ published in the Ear, Nose & Throat Journal.  In it, Dr. Loh has narrowed the defining characteristics of a profession as follows:
1. A profession has a specialized body of knowledge that has value to a society
2. Entrance requirements include a single unifying academic degree, a defined level of competency, and a license to practice
3. Members uphold high ethical standards and adhere to code of conduct
4. Professionals function autonomously; they are defined by their specialized knowledge and the ability to make independent decisions and judgment about their own services
5. Professionals are accountable to the persons they serve, regulatory agencies and their peers.
So, what does that really mean? To understand professionalism, we must first examine the origins of the word, and the context in which it was created.

It begins with to profess, stemming from the Latin word professus, which translates to “declare openly”.  In the early days, it was often defined as the act of openly declaring one’s allegiance to a religious order.  Pay close attention here to the elements essential to this act:(a) an ardent believe of something higher and greater, and (b) a willingness to stand up publicly and declare it so.  Even from the very start, a profession is meant to be in the public eye.  It is a system of beliefs and knowledge (keep in mind in those early days, academia and religion were closely linked) given a voice by the individual who openly and willingly pursues it.

Taking the religious aspect out of the equation, to profess is quite an audacious act in of itself.   Imagine someone who is about to profess something, be it an epiphany, or his undying devotion to the love of his life.  In order for it to be even consider an act of professing, he will need to be standing before a crowd ready to boisterously make his claim.   One cannot simply profess without conviction, otherwise what comes out would merely be a whimper prematurely heckled, leaving the audience unconvinced.  One must also be able to back the claim with some form of compelling evidence or authority; after all, who would want to listen to charlatan?   From where does the conviction and evidence come from?  Through a little bit of faith, a whole lot of practice, constant vigilance and due diligence.   By doing so they became the irrefutable expert, above reproach and accorded the esteem of professor.  They are generally acknowledged as the gate-keeper of the specific knowledge to which they profess.

Yet, one person alone professing is not enough.  As word of mouth travels from one ear to the next, there is bound to be some mistakes made in the midst of transmission.  I need not belabor you with the example of the children’s game “telephone pole”; rarely do we end up with the message that was originally sent.  Over time, and through numerous retelling, that knowledge risks becoming distorted, or even worst - lost.  Therefore it behooves those who possess that knowledge to band together to preserve the fidelity of their message.  Here we start seeing the formation of guilds and apprenticeships, the early embodiment of today’s professions.  The goal of apprenticeship is to ensure that a specific skill-set is preserved in its entirety from one generation to the next.  It is also the culmination of numerous lifetimes of practice, and refinement, such that its true practitioners are indubitably bequeathed with a distilled understanding- untainted and unfettered.

Such knowledge accords a greater spectrum of choices, creates alternative courses of action; and with it, inherent responsibilities to its wielder.  With this greater degree of choices come much improved odds of making more and grander blunders.  This necessitates stringent codes of conduct and ethics to regulate the members so as to ensure that the profession is always accountable.    Professional soldiers of old such as knights and samurai adhere to such iron code of ethics.   To them, it is a matter of honor.

Unlike knights and samurais, however, you don’t need to be of noble lineage to become a professional.   Professionals are not necessary any different from you or I.  Often times, professionals are ordinary individuals who are simply more devoted and disciplined to refining themselves; ever perfecting the arts and science of their chosen trade for the sole purpose of being ready to deal with the extraordinary.   They are individuals who have the audacity to believe that they have what it takes to make a difference; and the humility to serve faithfully.   In this day and age, anyone can become a knight in shining armor insofar that they do not mind the vigorous training, became adroit in all areas expected, and willing to indulge in the immense amount of elbow grease necessary to keep his armor shiny.


In my endeavor to define professionalism, we have progressed from professing to becoming a professional, and to ultimately exemplifying professionalism.  Professionalism in this sense can therefore be an adjective or a verb.  I much prefer the latter as it implies it is a never ending quest.  Culmination, consummation, apical should not be a destination, but rather a refining process.  After all, for those of us within the doctoring profession, does it not strike us odd that as professionals we operate within a “practice” and not a “perfect”?  That alone should serve as a reminder of what professionalism entails – constant improvement.

My music

Music and I are engaged in a love hate relationship. The piano is my soul mate, my confidante, when I am burdened by feelings of sadness, when I have no one to turn to, the piano is where I go to let it all out. On those 88 keys, I pour out my soul. On  those 88 keys do I find valleys and hills, rolling thunders and swirling waters. When the rolling waves ceased to clash upon the shingles, and the rain cease their relentless beating, I play myself a flowing river trickling upon pebbles.

And yet, I am no good a pianist, though I want to be. My music could not swoon a lady nor will she be woed, for the reality is, it may be music in my ears, it is nothing grandeur for others to hear. I play for my own pleasure, and what a curse it is, for I hear more in my head than what my fingers can consolidate. I pretend to play, but a master may laugh at my imcompetence. Only 88 keys, and yet I am not able to cover it. Alas, I will play in the loneliest of night, when no one is there to listen.

On failure (draft)

On Failure (a draft)

O Failure, most misunderstood mother of success,

How trying you are to the trying man.

Are you the cause of downfall for many,

Or could mortals succeed without your mocking glance?

Aye, Success and Failure,

Lovers from the start,

You walk hand in hand,

Side by side, leaving nothing to chance.

You call us to your circle,

Changing partners as we go.

Up and down, high and low,

Following the passionate rhythm of Tango.

From the ruins of ashes, shall phoenix rise.

And empires fall with achievement's pride

Success and Failure, you are the hen and egg question

Of Human achievements.

Become a tutor

Years from now, looking back, I think I would list being a tutor as one of the most fulfilling things that I have ever done.  There is a joy and a sense of accomplishment in being able to share knowledge with someone.  It stirs something deep within you, a heighten sense of awareness and creativity, when you  are called to explain a concept, to teach, to profess.  It is a splendid challenge to navigate how someone approach learning, and to subsequently tailor one's way of professing accordingly so as to help them grasp what was once an elusive notion. It is a great adventure of exploration together- both liberating and rewarding.

I hope that each of you will consider experiencing that which I have experienced and become a tutor yourself.   I fell in love with audiology for the very reason that it is a profession of nurturers and educators.  It is within our nature to listen to our patients, and help them understand more about hearing, listening, effective communicating.  What better way, therefore, to fine hone our skills than by helping our "young".  Sign up to be a tutor today!

Thank you.

Some more thoughts on relationships

To be confused about a relationship is natural... it forms the basis of mutual exploration, the need to communicate... Part of being in a deep, open and meaningful relationship is both parties being able to feel comfortable and encouraged  to mutually prod, expose and explain themselves constantly. Ultimately, you want to be wholesomely vulnerable to that one person, and he/she in kind to you... in the process, you become fully aware of who you are. But that is the theoretical aspect of it... the way to getting there is fraught with a myriad of problems. Notice how I said confusion forms the basis of mutual exploration... but that requires both parties... if either party shuts off, then confusion forms the basis of doubt and worries because they never got to be aired, addressed and discarded. 

There are concrete battles to fight in every relationship... but often times convention has us looking towards the cosmetic ones. We are jaded by culture to believe there is a way relationship should be. There maybe an ideal, but the reality is often far from it... or at least it starts off ways off from where it is supposed to end up looking like. 

Society, pop cultures etc has given us a lot of examples of what a relationship should "look like"...it is crucial that we do not buy into all that fluffy romance crap. If we romanticize the situation without a firm foundation, then our struggles become about epic philosophical and emotional considerations worthy of Shakespeare or novelists, but lose the focus of real life and in particular--our life 

Strong permanent relationships are built on reality, not on romanticized versions of what a relationship should be. Look at what the relationship is separate from the "should be" or imagined struggles. I believe the struggle has taken on its own strength and that is what is driving the relationship rather than the relationship itself being the center.