Hosea 12:4

 I have always taken great pleasure in reading the story of Jacob wrestling with G-d (Genesis 32:22-32, Hosea 12:4). The notion that we can wrestle with our faith, to quarrel with G-d seems far fetch, and yet I do take solace in knowing that is a perfectly viable option. What is more, the audacity in Jacob's request that he will not concede [even after his hip joint has been dislocated] until he has been blessed, inspires me.

There is a lot of talk of surrendering to G-d. There is this notion that we must placate His will. I am not against that, but I do feel that it is perhaps healthy, and sometimes necessary to question and to wrestle with Him as well, and to fight HIm for His blessing.

When you do find yourself wrestling with faith and with your beliefs, as we will often do, don't fret. Don't feel guilty, don't let fear or anger control you, but fight hard with the desire of receiving His blessing.

I don't believe He ever wanted us to blindly trust. I would like to think that He wants us to grapple with uncertainty, confusion, and the unknown. He who can not be named [and I don't mean Vordemort], is simply those things, He is totally other (totaliter aliter), and we will never truly come to grasp with it. Yet, the fact He has allowed one man to pin Him down for a blessing, that should give us hope in knowing we may have the ability to prove ourselves worthy somehow.

I hope you wrestle with your faith.

I hope you have raw conversations with your G-d.

Don't shy away, don't hide the tears or the hurt.

Be not ashamed to have prayers filled with agony and rage.

Believing was never meant to be easy, and G-d isn't exactly fluffy or cuddly.

If He is as we believe Him to be - all-powerful and all-loving; what is the worst you can do to Him?

He will love you through the storm.

So go to Him with your troubles, struggle with Him.

Be not afraid.

Keeping it real

 In private conversations, I have held recently the theme that the world has gone mad came up quite frequently. I know I have been questioning my understanding of how things work as a result of current events. Yet as I ponder deeper I suppose the truth is the world has always been somewhat chaotic.

History has shown us again and again that humanity creeps towards the dark side quite often. I guess I have just been very fortunate that my corner of the world, and therefore my notion of reality, has been rather secured such that in contrast things have been getting to me as of late.

So first, I must express my gratefulness to the people who has kept it safe all these years. To my immediate family and close friends, thanks for all these years of positivity and support. To every member of the society, from those who served in the armed forces, to the teachers, the civil servants, the garbage collectors. Thank you. Thank you for your continual defiance to entropy by bringing order to our world.

I guess the truth is the world has always been a bit off kilter. Heck, I have been told that the earth actually orbits on a tilt axis. Yet, what has never really changed is it behooves each and every one of us to do our best to make it better for those around us.

Life sucks from time to time, gravity sucks. But we have the ability to defy it, we can be the source of levity be it through grand gesture to small acts of kindness. It doesn't take much, be nice, be open, be willing to acknowledge one another. Be witness to each other's struggles, be helpful.

The world may feel insane, but we can keep it sane for our young and vulnerable. We must act to preserve decency and an example of goodness to those around us.