Return to Him

A child can say the most hurtful and awful things to their parents, often with the utmost conviction and in the most embarrassing circumstances possible.  I have seen it occur in the waiting room, examination room, in shopping arcades, or parking lots.  And I have witness firsthand the distraught that it brings to the parents, each word a crushing blow.  I see the wrestle with self doubt, embarrassment, while trying to remain in control.  It is not a pretty sight, and it takes a magnanimous character to refrain from bringing righteous wrath upon the child for visiting such indignation in so public a place.  Perhaps it is the understanding at a fundamental level that a child knows not what he or she is doing, that a child is less evolved and is therefore less culpable. Perhaps it is love, love that supersedes all, that allows for understanding when confronted with such open hostility and anguish from a child.  What makes such confrontation memorable, however, is the reconciliation that eventually arrives.  When the child realizes he or she has behaved poorly, made aware of the hurt dealt, and come to the parents for forgiveness and consolation.  I too have witness that, and what a change it is to go from cringing at the verge of a spectacle wondering what is wrong with humanity, to being overflow with hope for said humanity when a parent embraces the child.

In many ways, I think that is our relationship with G-d.   There is this constant pressure to praise G-d, and to glorify His name, and we should.  "It is right, and a good and joyful thing, always and every-
where to give thanks to you, Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth."  Yet, that does not preclude the fact that we as humans are going to be the ultimate entitled brats.  That we will find circumstances in life utterly disagreeable, rightfully or not, and the disappointment that comes when we realize our expectation for G-d to shield us from the hurt can be devastating.  So much so that we lash out at Him, even though at a fundamental level we know we are not supposed to.  

But I think G-d can take that, I think G-d understands that we need to vent, that we are the less evolved of the two, significantly so.  That while we will say the most hurtful things, be most ungrateful, we are ultimately His children and His love abides.  It is perhaps unfathomable how we can fall into pits of despair, or worked up into a frenzy by the littlest of things when His blessings in life are bountiful.  It is hard when life bows us low, and our defiance at the Creator becomes disproportionately great; because let's face it who is an easier target?  The Almighty who is supposed to prevent bad things from happening, or to the bad things that did happen?  So we jeer, we sneer, we cajole, we bargain, we go through stages of grief as we explain our grievances to  Him.  We challenge His authority, we ask Him to act.  Often times we are met with silence, which seemingly gives credence and justify our laments.

But the moment pass, as they always do, and we come back to the light.  He embraces us, even when we have been kicking and screaming.  He loves us, so as I write this, knowing that there are many who are going through rough time and feeling anger at the Almighty, I pray you get to vent, I pray you get to question Him, but most importantly I pray you will return to Him and accept His love for you.