A very funny patient

I have been told that humor is a defense mechanism, employed to deflect attention away from the real issue at hand.  Well, if that is the case, my patient is having some full blown issues... but I have got to give him credit for making me laugh.  Here are some excerpts from our conversation

Me: "So, what brings you here today"

Patient: "My wife." (at which point his wife promptly but playfully slaps him)

Me: "How's your hearing?" 

Patient: "I don't know, they haven't set a trial date yet."

Me performing otoscopy while the patient's spouse sits on the other side

Patient: "Hey doc, you look like a nice fellow, but I don't want you eying the missus with that scope."

Patient's spouse: "Oh hush you, you have got too much hair in there for him to get a clean look anyway" (technically true...)

Me: "Is there anything you have avoided doing because of your hearing loss?"

Patient (whispers conspiratory): "Oh, a special pretty young thing (winks at wife), you know, because I can't hear her coming, and I don't want to get [hearing] aids."  (Yes folks, he officially earns the title of being that dirty old man). 

Me: "Do you hear ringing in your ears?"

Patient: "No, but I drool a lot, and I wish someone would answer the phone."

Me: "What do you want most out of your hearing aids?" 

Patient: "To hear my wife... sneaking up behind me."

Me; "Do you have trouble following conversations in noisy environments?"

Patient: "No, but I gotta tell ya, it seems conversations follow me around, behind my back.  Ask her, she knows what I am talking about." (Gestures towards his wife).

Me; "Alright, I am going to have you repeat some words for me."

Patient: "Did my wife gave you some cue cards earlier?  She must have, she always have words for me."

Patient (me on the other side of the booth): "Honey, I think the kid is getting fresh with me.  He is whispering dirty words I can't repeat in your presence."

Patient: "Gee, doc, I wish I have met you earlier, I would have asked you to build me a booth like this, would have made a great guest room for my mother-in-law."

What a treat it was working with this patient and his wife.  Married for nearly 52 years, and such wonderful flow of humorous dialogs between the two.  He may have a whopping hearing loss, but to see these two communicate beyond words is quite marvellous.