Stress

Remember that guy/ girl you have crushed on at some point in your life? You may have met him/ her at a bar, in the hallway between classes, across the aisle at a grocery store, or even in the next cart on a train. You remember him/ her? Do you recall the flight of fantasies you have about him/ her? More importantly, do you remember that sudden blossom of shyness, that well of insecurity that prevented you from ever making a move to actualize those fantasies. Do you know why you didn't? Let me give you a hint: it's because you have idealized him/ her so much that you don't see that person as simply another individual. Instead you have this romanticized version of him/ her; raising them upon a pedestal so high that you dare not scale, for fear that you are beneath them. Or, even worst, discovering your dream is a mirage, and the disappointment devastating to your quiescent soul. I want you to dwell on that sensation for a moment... because that is exactly the same phenomenon that makes stress so poignant.

How the heck did I go from dating to stress? Well, think about it: the things which triggers our stress, like the target of our crushes, are usually things we care about (whether or not they care about us or not in actuality). We project our hopes, our dreams unto them; meanwhile praying for recognition. Whether we realize it or not, when we look upon that person, or that exam we want to get an A on, there is inherently a desire for us to succeed. In the case of a crush, you want to impress them, coming across suave and awesome, subsequently winning their attraction. In the case of an exam, you want to ace it. Both outcome really is geared towards feeling good about yourself.

As part of that process we tend to overshoot on our regards so that in our mind it will be worth the effort. It is a defense mechanism of ours to over-project, otherwise it would all seem silly- to approach someone randomly, to take a class and study. Sort of like the guy who threw in 100 bucks into the toilet after he dropped a quarter in there, so that it would be worth his while to fish out both.

Simple enough, right? Make that person look great in our heads, dream that we will pass the exam with flying colors. Envision success, and then go for it. Yet, somewhere along the way, we over did it, and stop ourselves short. We make the object so damn good, so much so that in contrast we feel like crap... and eventually gave up.

What I am getting at is this: stress is good. We stress because we care. That being said, we must be realistic about it. Don't let it become fear that builds upon itself. Don't allow it to take on a life of its own, succoring itself upon our insecurities so that instead of using it as a motivator, we allow it to become our greatest obstacle. Go for it, ask the guy/ girl out. Study your heart out. I am willing to bet whatever notion you have in your imagination is no match for the real deal, so why not just go for it, and leave fear behind where it belongs: in the gutter with its throat slit by the garrote of decisive action.

That being said, back to studying I go.