Pick-Up Lines
- Want to come over and study forced oscillation and resonance factor?
- Trust me, I am a doctor.
- I bet no one can put you in a supine position faster and better than I.
- Want to learn the log roll?
- Two words: Fixation denied
- Ask me about down ten up five
- I know the Sabine's Reverberation Equation. Want to come and test it out in my boudoir?
- I am good at using Log to find Intensity.
- We do it periodically with frequency and great amplitude.
- You give me a stiff lesion with your mass.
- Three words: Simple Harmonic Motion
- Between you and me, we can make Longitudinal waves and Transverse waves
- I need your help to study the mass and elasticity of my bed.
- Let's measure how loud and how far your voice can propagate via simple means of compression and rarefaction.
- May I measure our immittance?
- Bone oscillation. Need I say more?
- Audiology. We bring the "Oooo?!" in Otolaryngology
- Did you know that a stiff lesion can result in a shift in natural frequency of a system towards the higher pitches? Don't believe me? Allow me to demonstrate.
- Allow me to find your natural frequency
- You, me, rotary chair, dark room... get the picture?
- Ask me about up-beating, down-beating nystagmus.
- Swallow, it's part of the test.
- Audiologists do it with frequency and intensity (E. Breitling)
- Audiologists stimulate aurally (e. Breitling)
- Does the word tinnitus ring a bell?
Audiology Humor
- Audiology is like sex. What more need I say? We audiology students like it up (5) and down (10), while supine, with vision denied. We stimulate aurally with intensity and frequency. We manage your stiff lesions, and we make deep impressions. We do it deep, we do it slow, and we make sure we plug/fill up the hole.
- How are some nystagmus like boyfriends? Well, there is the typical jerk, and then you have your rebound types. How are nystagmus like camp counsellors? They can be upbeat and spontaneous.
- As I gazed deeply into her ears, I saw light, and I am reminded of just how open-minded a person she is. She was very compliant, with good reflexes. No aural fullness to boast of. She spoke audibly and clearly; not annoying like tinnitus. She responded well to the sound of my voice; there and then I knew I have found the one. She trusts me, she listens intently. What more can I ask? I shall make her world spin.
- Audiologist: like bank tellers, we check your balance.
- Audiologists: like Flo Rida (or Dead or Alive for us old folks)...we spin you "Right Round".(Amy Goodwine)
- Studying for my vestibular test has given me the following:
- Blurred vision from reading all my notes
- Lightheadedness from being indoors all day
- Vertigo from being spun around by copious facts
- Hearing loss from the loud music that I need to put in my ears to keep me pumped
- Tinnitus when the music is gone
- Aural fullness from the ear plugs
- These symptoms are highly consistent with a diagnosis of Man Ears’ Disease
- Audiology, we don't care for feedback
- I keep hearing things in my head... I suppose that just means I have a sound mind.
- I imagine there shall come a day when one of my vestibular patients will befriend me on facebook, and her relationship status would read "It's compensated".
- If you look at it closely enough, the TM resembles a condom.
- Audiology: Where ""let's take you out for a spin" means being strapped into a chair and spun in a dark chamber rather than a joyride on the freeway with the wind blowing in your face.
- is studying implants, can you guess which kind? Here are some clues: it is partially made of silicone, can be very magnetic, and extremely stimulating.
- Poor patient, he was so dizzy from his vertigo that he didn't know where to go. Luckily I was around to take him out for a spin.
- Someday I will find the cure to tinnitus (that ringing noise you hear in your ears) and win the "No Bell" prize.
- We don't care for feedback
- Although it may not be original, we love our SIN nonetheless
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