Something I Wrote About Fridge Clean-up Duty

First e-mail to colleagues informing of the upcoming clean-up

1 And on the eleventh day of the sixth month, David spake unto Andy in the room of 69 saying,
2 Write ye electronically to the patrons of the kitchen near room area 70, saying, On the fourteenth day of this month they shall take upon them means to label things and mark that which they safe keep in the icebox.
3 For ye shall pass through said icebox on the noon of the fifteenth day and smite down all unclaimed items.
4 Ye shall sanitize and purify with cleaning agents this place of sub-zero temperature; making it suitable for the storage of victuals once more
5 All that is unaccounted for shall forever be banished to the realms of refuse.
6 Therefore, the labels shall be for them a token of where their provisions are: and when you see the labels, you shall pass over them, and the sanitization process shall not be upon their rations to destroy them


Response from my colleague

Pledge of Cleanliness

I pledge allegiance, to the labeling rule,
of the George Washington University Biostatistics Center.
And to the refrigerator, for which it stands,
one Work Force, under G.W.,
more responsible, with cleanliness and freshness for all.

We the people, of the Biostatistics Center, in order to form a more perfect refrigerator,
establish cleanliness, insure sanitary tranquility, provide for the common prevention of spoiled food,
promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of a clean refrigerator to ourselves and our posterity,
do ordain and establish this labeling process for the George Washington University Biostatistics center.


Shapla Choudhury



E-mail reporting the aftermath of the clean-up

Subject: Cleaning, the aftermath!

This just in folks,

Tropical Cyclone Andrew blew through the once quiet town of Icebox 70 around 12:00pm Eastern today leaving much devastation in its wake. Ranked by meteorologists as a Category 5 storm, TC Andrew seemingly just pop up out of nowhere on the radar screen this noon, and without much warning made its way through this once populated town at a nautical speed of 95 knots, later disappearing without a trace. It is still early to determine the exact amount of damage inflicted, and officials have so far refused to comment on the situation. Our local correspondent Andy reports,

(Turns to show disheveled Asian with the abysmally vacant fridge in the background)
Yes Diane, as you can see behind me, Hurricane Andrew has done quite a significant amount of damage to this once populated town of Icebox 70. At one time, dozens of ethnic foods had coexisted peacefully in this quaint neighborhood; but now, as you can see, only a few remain.

(Camera pans to earlier interviewees)
It all happened so fast, one minute we were chilling on our shelves, the next we were tossed about and thrown into this box says a jug of Lowfat Kifir Cultured Milk Smoothie.

He and a couple of items were caught off guard by the sudden intensity of the storm. Wrenched from their homes in a blur, they are now currently displaced into a box just on the outskirts of Icebox 70 awaiting relocation.

(Camera slowly fades out from the box, and pans to the garbage bin)
Sadly, they are just some of the fortunate ones. We drove around to the refuse dump on the corner where the clean-up crew has removed some of the unfortunate casualties of this storm- it was a gut-wrenching scene to behold. The victims were mostly cheese that didn't age well, carrots who were past the prime, and even a family of Chinese takeout who were simply caught unaware. Many did not see it coming, and had not taken the necessary steps to protect themselves with labels

Its tragic when these sort of things happen, says Pizza from the freezer who were amongst the few that were sheltered by magic markers, we were tight, you know. We used to joke around a lot... about who is going next? Whos got more culture and such? Now, they are all gone. (breaks down profusely)

Indeed, the remaining victuals are a sad bunch tonight, the empty and bare shelves a silent tribute to those that once stood there. My report here is done, back to you.

(Studio)
Thank you, Andy. That was Andy reporting live at the scene. If you want to find out if your rations survived the storm, please go to the box right located outside Icebox 70. Local residents who were displaced during the storm will be housed there temporary for the day before being shipped off to a more final destination. Thats all for now, we will bring you more updates as they come along..