Grace is given, you are loved

The message of the gospel is simple - you are loved and that grace is given. Yet what I have come to learn in my personal journey is that accepting love is not easy. Heck, I struggle with it, daily. Despite all that I know and believe, I have often rejected the very love that I aspire to show others. My wretched existence is unworthy, I don't deserve it, and then I self sabotage to prove my point. 

Perhaps many of you may have experienced something similar - a wayward relative who seems to become increasingly isolated, a dear friend suffering from depression with suicidal tendencies, a child who can't be hugged or consoled. The love is there, why can't they see that and embrace it? 

But it is not as simple as that, is it? See, In a world where we are constantly conditioned for one thing or another, the concept of unconventional positive regard is a scary thing. It is hard to believe that we can be loved with such depth. "What is the catch?" we may ask ourselves, "This doesn't feel right. There is no free lunch", and once again, "I am not worth it."

"I am not worth it." That is perhaps the greatest lie whispered by the fallen angels into our ears. In a cosmic battle of the souls, where the fallen fell because they saw how G-d loved us and was upset, the best way to get back at Him is to tell a soul it is not worth it and reject Him forever. Because that's the catch 22 isn't it? G-d gave us free will that we may choose to embrace or deny Him, so the easiest way to get us away is to choose to distance ourselves from salvation, despite how many times He said, "you are worth it."

So what do we do? Well, we keep trying our best to love those around us and hopefully accept the love ourselves. After all, those are the commandments, love your G-d with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your might; and love your neighbours as yourselves. Or as my friend, who once stood by me despite all of my shortcomings and failures said, "It isn't your decision, we are not going away, we love you anyway." That is the power of free will, of grace, and love.

Remember, to be so loved can be overwhelming, like turning on the floodlights after wallowing in a dark room for so long. It will be in our nature to shy away from it. Still, we must try.

To love with such intensity is not easy either as we must be ever mindful that we do not impose any conditions to it, we must not expect anything in return. That can be extremely challenging.

We must be gentle with others and ourselves. It is a delicate dance, like watching a stilt fleeting back and fro with the edges of waves on the beach.

So, I urge each of us who are in the trenches, try to show love, unconditional positive regard, wherever you go. Trust that where human love falls short, His will be sufficient. Trust that we can be a medium of grace and an agent of love on this earth. That is our first and foremost lesson and duty as faithful stewards.

Sunday blues

The lull following good times can be exceptionally sobering. I used to dread them, I still do, but I have come to appreciate the contrast and its implication on just how fortunate I have been and how good of a time I have had. And then I give thanks as opposed to succumbing to the feeling of melancholy as reality crashes back.

It's hard, I am not going to lie, the realist in me is ever aware of just how fleeting good meaningful interactions can be. I try to stockpile as many of them as I can, but the sobering moments in between, they suck. They really do by contrast.  Kind of like sitting in the bleachers in the dark just moments after the lights go out following an exhilarating game. The abrupt silence, the absence of cacophony of sounds can be deafening. Yet, it is all worth it. Remember that.

So it is I hope that each of you who are feeling the Sunday blues, hang on. I hope it meant you have had a great time. Cherish the memories, the laughter, the camaraderie, and bear with the lull. We need the good, the bad, and the dull to grow.