Weekend

The weekend's end approaches, and what a week of hustle and bustle it has been. In these quiet moments before I end my weekend and lay my head down to sleep, the calm that I have been searching for finally seem to set in. Perhaps a little bit late in the coming, perhaps a tad short in its duration, but this is the moment I savor the most. As I allow the tranquility of the night to ease my soul and let my thoughts flow free, I roam through the myriad of experiences that I have encounter this week. Some have brought me joy, while others have made me cold. Like a librarian, I browse through my ponderings, shelving away those that are worth returning, and discarding those that threaten to leave a dark mark in my cognition. Aye, there is much in a week time that one encounter; some serves to enlighten, some induces ignorant judgment.

As I look back, I realize that the moments when I am most content, was when I had the opportunity to talk with different peoples, to share in their thoughts, and learn of their perspectives. Never was I more alone than when I was left on my own, to face the darkness of my soul that easily entombs me. It has been said we must learn to live with who we are, to accept and love who I am?yet I have found myself un-prepared to turn inwards. It seems my identity is a black hole, a warp, a vacuum of sorts that vortex me into a spiraling void?unless I turn outwards and let my attention focus upon others, and to allow them to anoint me with their radiance, my light is wasted in the abyss of my thoughts. How cruel, how ironic these words I have written to depict my emotions and my thoughts?can I serve others when I cannot serve myself. Can I be truly devoted to the cause of others, or need I be more selfish so as to stay my course.

The lesson of the week is perhaps not to take things personal?and yet it is the very thing that makes me great, makes me who I am. I take things personal so as to ensure I devote myself?and yet it seems in this real world, one must learn to be removed from the midst of the human quotient in daily equations. Perhaps I must learn the ways of the elves, to speak the partial truth, and to allow no disclosure of my thoughts.