Things I have learned from not having a car

1. Nothing gets you back on your feet faster than not having a car
2. Everything is within walking distance if you have the time, a bottle of water, and a towel
3. Never buy more than what you can carry at the grocery stores
4. Addendum to rule #3: Don't wait until you have to buy more than what you can carry at the grocery stores
5. Public transportation may take more time, but gives you more time to do stuff too durig the commue
6. Public transportation teaches you to (a) manage time better, (b) socialize with with fellow passengers

redemption

I lit a cigarette, hoping the smoke shall carry me to lands afar. I took a long draft of liquor thinking it will make my spirits high. Life of prodigal debauchery, sold my soul to the devil, Through hell and back I have travel. Mine eyes have seen the slums of humanity, behold the endless possibilities of human cruelty. There is no end to which darkness can consume us, there is no limit  to where lust may cause us to fall.Damned we be from our mother's womb, and yet it takes only a spark to redeem us all. A drop of holy water, a willing spirit, then free we shall become by the grace of the Lord. 

Loneliness

It is strange how sometimes you can be in a room full of friendly people and still feel very alone... 

I feel that is a situation in which I am quite familair with. As I look about me, I realize that there are a lot of great people around me. I have a lot of friends, acquaintances, people who are just awesome to be with... yet, somehow, I feel there is something missing. I feel that I have somehow constructed a mental barrier that is keeping me somewhat removed from them. I yearn constantly for human contact, for deep conversations and sharing of experiences... but at the very same time, I seem to keep my distance... it is so weird. On the surface I know a hell lot of great people... but how much do I really know them, and how much do they know of me. It seems I am standing here at a junction of dichotomies. A singular problem that has stumped me for years...

How can it be that I still feel alone and yet not? I feel like I am in search of a catalyst, someone who can act as the filter and enhancer of my experience with other people. Someone with whom I can share my experiences with, a healthy rapport between two souls, ultimately looking outwards  towards the same horizons, ready to explore, expand and express the boundaries of our experiences... 

In the end... can I be my own catalyst? Does this urge I feel for companionship a valid one when I myself cannot be content  with who  I am? No, better yet, do I know who I am at this point to present a likeable me?