George Bailey Moments

"Have you ever had one of those days where nothing all that monumental happens, but by the end of it you have no idea who you are or what the hell you are doing with your life? Do you ever have one of those days?" ~ Robin from the TV series How I Met Your Mother

In my years of studying psychology as an undergrad, nothing really prepared me for moments like these-when I would find myself stopped so abruptly by seemingly nothing at all, and be confronted with the sensation that I am insignificant. I have come to called these moments my George Bailey moments, more or less because I find myself pondering what differences am I making, and what it would have been like had I not existed at all. Do I matter at all?

Is it, then, a question of ego? The desire to know that one's efforts have not be in vain? That one has indeed made a difference in this transitory world? I know that the world was revolving long before I arrived, and that it will continue to do so long after I am gone. But wouldn't it be nice, even if just for a little bit, especially in these moments, that I would be comforted with the knowledge that I am not sand on stone, or another autumn leaf.

Am I doing something wrong, because if I am working as hard as I perceive I am, why then this feeling of insignificance? I guess in the end human existence is never easy... and to each their own set of problems. we can only hope that we dare to test the limits of our individual strength. So that when the day of judgement arrives, when we judge ourselves, we can say without hesitation that we did the best we could with what we have, and that what little regrets we may have, our accomplishment suffice to overcome it. That, regardless of how insignificant it may feel at the time, that in the grand scheme of things, we played one of three roles: the originator, the facilitator, and the benefactor of some action... and that it was necessary.