Some days you will feel as if the world is crashing down upon you from all sides. You will look about you and see all the muck ups there ever were, and you will take everything that didn't go well personal. You will look up to the heavens above and question whether these are the acts of a loving god? A just god? A wise god? And you will, as I have been, tempted to curse His name, shouting out and asking whether it was all neccessary? Was each round of bad luck a coup de grace?
Well, it happens... one minute you are fine, and the next you will find yourself suddenly exposed and vulnerable to every downfall in the book. You will then question the purpose of your existence.
I know I have... and the only comfort I can offer is perhaps knowing that "this too shall pass"... as cliche as it sounds, there is indeed a time for everything, and that it has nothing to do with merits. There are just moments in life when it doesn't matter whether you warrant it or not, things will not go right. You can look and be jealous of everyone else, but you see, it is not about them. It is not about how good they are getting, or how bad you are having it now... it is not personal... it is just is... and the only way you get by it is let go of your own anger. Let go, and just accept that it happens. Stop squirming, writhing, and wallowing. Cry in anguish if you must, bewail your woes... but whatever the cause do not allow the struggle to take on a life of its own, for then it will only spiral downwards even more; like quicksand.
It is easy to say this from the outside... but the reality you and I will be going through these phases quite a few times in our lifetime... they do not have to be frequent... but they can get consuming, and the intensity of the pain which we are more attune exaggerates their effects upon us... but the reality is we may be just having it good for some time, and that it is time to tip the balance a little bit to load more new goodies.
All I am saying is, it happens... when they do, don't exaggerate the uniqueness of it. It is a significant event, but not necessary to the extent to which you may give it... reach out, and you will be surprised to find many others who have been through something similar, or can offer insight on to alleviate the pain. Step back, and understand that it is not the end, but perhaps the beginning of something better... the pain which can be unbearable is actually something you will bore through should you stop fixating on it, and scrap at it like scab...
Such is life... we fall, we scratch ourselves, we pick our selves up... there is no point in picking at the wounds, no point in thinking those scars will make us hideous... instead wear them with pride, for they are your own mementos to a victory won, hardship overcame...
Friday, October 19, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
We are united in out iniquities
Through whatever turmoil you are going through may you find peace and assurance knowing you are not alone, that someone else is going through something similar, someone has passed this way before, and someone else will possibly follow after you...
G-d knows I have cried my eyes dry for the pain and suffering of decent beings... but in the end, I have come to realize that it is perhaps worth the tears to see a small moment of triumph, to experience a single moment of pure elation... for in the midst of all that despair, that one moment stands out even more... and hopefully you hold on to it for dear life, because that is the spark of humanity... our common trials and tribulations is what keeps us together, it preserves us, makes us cry and laugh together... and while we may have quit on our own, if we lay there and cried under the skies, and realize that our mutual tears serve to nurture the tree of our basic, common humanity, soaking to the very depths where the roots lie; succoring it so that the branches can continue to extend,reach and strive for the skies ... then perhaps we can then seek to climb further up its branches, and reach for the skies.
Indeed... our existence seems futile and trivial if we can not step back and appreciate the collective experience. The meaning of life lies in transcending ourselves, going beyond our immediate faculties and understand that we are part of something greater... that we are not alone, but united across time and space continuum by the river of blood, sweat and tears shed in pursuit of something greater. Succored by the knowledge we are not alone in messing up, we gain courage to try even harder...perhaps the acceptance of collective failure is what we need to dare ourselves to move even farther, bypassing doubt and paralyzing fear of being alone...
G-d knows I have cried my eyes dry for the pain and suffering of decent beings... but in the end, I have come to realize that it is perhaps worth the tears to see a small moment of triumph, to experience a single moment of pure elation... for in the midst of all that despair, that one moment stands out even more... and hopefully you hold on to it for dear life, because that is the spark of humanity... our common trials and tribulations is what keeps us together, it preserves us, makes us cry and laugh together... and while we may have quit on our own, if we lay there and cried under the skies, and realize that our mutual tears serve to nurture the tree of our basic, common humanity, soaking to the very depths where the roots lie; succoring it so that the branches can continue to extend,reach and strive for the skies ... then perhaps we can then seek to climb further up its branches, and reach for the skies.
Indeed... our existence seems futile and trivial if we can not step back and appreciate the collective experience. The meaning of life lies in transcending ourselves, going beyond our immediate faculties and understand that we are part of something greater... that we are not alone, but united across time and space continuum by the river of blood, sweat and tears shed in pursuit of something greater. Succored by the knowledge we are not alone in messing up, we gain courage to try even harder...perhaps the acceptance of collective failure is what we need to dare ourselves to move even farther, bypassing doubt and paralyzing fear of being alone...
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Que Serra Serra
"To learn something new, one must revisit the old" -Chinese adage.
It is hard to convey the exact meaning of this adage in English, such is the complexity of the Chinese language that it covers much in simple vagueness. One can interpret it as meaning one must revisit the basics often to gain access to new wisdom. For the sake of our discussion, let me perhaps take the liberty in interpreting this adage in a chronological context:
The path towards a better tomorrow begins with the positive foundation laid by today's optimism, and cemented by endearing memories of yesterdays.
Too often we strive to gaze far into the future in hopes that we can shape our paths today. It is by no mistake that cultures across the globe shares in a rich tradition of fortune telling. From mere palm readings, drawing tarot cards, casting runes to our more sophisticated weather forecasts and stock market analysis, humans shares in a mutual fascination, no, an obsession, with forecasting the unknown. Ours is a society built upon looking ahead, and moving forward. As General Patton phrase it so eloquently in his famous speech to his tank commanders and infantry, we are ever advancing, never holding on to anything.
While it is good practice to be prepared and vigilant, to look far ahead as much as possible, there is one slight problem - metaphysically speaking we are severely myopic as a species. While we like to think that our intelligence is sufficient such that it can project the different possible outcomes and prepares us of what may, the reality is we are only smart enough to fool ourselves. The truth is the future overwhelms us simply because it is great and mysterious. We were never meant to know fully what lies ahead. We are ill equipped to handle the many variations of the future simply because we are not G-d and therefore cannot possibly forecast every resultant ripples of every minutia.
To stare into that great abyss of unknown is liken to a myopic child attempting to light his/ her way around grand auditorium with a mere candle. We see what is immediate to us, but it only serves to contrast and amplify darkness, and induce in us a uncontrollable fear of what lurks within it. Shadows dance upon the walls and prey upon our darker imagination, so much so that we become paralyzed and incapable of venturing forward. Our progress is therefore stymied not by the actual obstacles per se, but by our own vivid pessimism and eventual self-damnation as we feel the darkness of future close upon us.
This is not the way we should live. We should not be so set on looking ahead that we forget it is through stepping back that we are propelled forward. Instead of looking ahead and be consumed by what we know not, we should build our confidence by looking back and see how far we have come- by what we have learned. The pattern we seek lies not in the future, but in an understanding of our past and current experiences. It is through appreciation of what we have now, a thorough examination of what was done right in the past, that we gain the necessary wisdom to move forward step by step.
It is easy to yield to pessimism when we become affronted by darkness, by uncertainty and doubt. But if we can only step back, look back and realize that we leave a little spark each step of the way, the path ahead then becomes gradually illuminated. Our confidence then stems from the mental map that we have created for ourselves to back track. We can proceed forward because we know where we were. Hope is therefore not an abstract sustain in vacuum, but a very concrete concept nurtured by positive actions of today fueled by successes in the past. The future may shape our present, but it is the joint effort of the present and the past that actualize the future. So instead of looking forward, step back. It is so much easier to build upon what we have than neglect all that and surrender ourselves to dark despair.
Therefore, I urge you, instead of being depressed by what you don't know, be impressed instead by what you do know and build upon that.
It is hard to convey the exact meaning of this adage in English, such is the complexity of the Chinese language that it covers much in simple vagueness. One can interpret it as meaning one must revisit the basics often to gain access to new wisdom. For the sake of our discussion, let me perhaps take the liberty in interpreting this adage in a chronological context:
The path towards a better tomorrow begins with the positive foundation laid by today's optimism, and cemented by endearing memories of yesterdays.
Too often we strive to gaze far into the future in hopes that we can shape our paths today. It is by no mistake that cultures across the globe shares in a rich tradition of fortune telling. From mere palm readings, drawing tarot cards, casting runes to our more sophisticated weather forecasts and stock market analysis, humans shares in a mutual fascination, no, an obsession, with forecasting the unknown. Ours is a society built upon looking ahead, and moving forward. As General Patton phrase it so eloquently in his famous speech to his tank commanders and infantry, we are ever advancing, never holding on to anything.
While it is good practice to be prepared and vigilant, to look far ahead as much as possible, there is one slight problem - metaphysically speaking we are severely myopic as a species. While we like to think that our intelligence is sufficient such that it can project the different possible outcomes and prepares us of what may, the reality is we are only smart enough to fool ourselves. The truth is the future overwhelms us simply because it is great and mysterious. We were never meant to know fully what lies ahead. We are ill equipped to handle the many variations of the future simply because we are not G-d and therefore cannot possibly forecast every resultant ripples of every minutia.
To stare into that great abyss of unknown is liken to a myopic child attempting to light his/ her way around grand auditorium with a mere candle. We see what is immediate to us, but it only serves to contrast and amplify darkness, and induce in us a uncontrollable fear of what lurks within it. Shadows dance upon the walls and prey upon our darker imagination, so much so that we become paralyzed and incapable of venturing forward. Our progress is therefore stymied not by the actual obstacles per se, but by our own vivid pessimism and eventual self-damnation as we feel the darkness of future close upon us.
This is not the way we should live. We should not be so set on looking ahead that we forget it is through stepping back that we are propelled forward. Instead of looking ahead and be consumed by what we know not, we should build our confidence by looking back and see how far we have come- by what we have learned. The pattern we seek lies not in the future, but in an understanding of our past and current experiences. It is through appreciation of what we have now, a thorough examination of what was done right in the past, that we gain the necessary wisdom to move forward step by step.
It is easy to yield to pessimism when we become affronted by darkness, by uncertainty and doubt. But if we can only step back, look back and realize that we leave a little spark each step of the way, the path ahead then becomes gradually illuminated. Our confidence then stems from the mental map that we have created for ourselves to back track. We can proceed forward because we know where we were. Hope is therefore not an abstract sustain in vacuum, but a very concrete concept nurtured by positive actions of today fueled by successes in the past. The future may shape our present, but it is the joint effort of the present and the past that actualize the future. So instead of looking forward, step back. It is so much easier to build upon what we have than neglect all that and surrender ourselves to dark despair.
Therefore, I urge you, instead of being depressed by what you don't know, be impressed instead by what you do know and build upon that.
One is a member...
We often seek to define ourselves by identifying that which separates us and makes us unique. However, I do question if it would perhaps be wiser and better to invest our faculties in pursuit of that which unites us. Lines in the sand are not drawn necessary to keep people out, but rather to keep them in… and even then it is subjected to being erased by waves. A membership to a particular club may seem exclusive, but one is always a member of something greater. It is always convenient to be homogeneous, but the challenge lies in finding ourselves within a heterogeneous group. Who knows, at the end of the tunnel we may just come to the realization that we are more alike than we think... that should not be something that scares us, but instead comfort us for we are not alone. We are connected through our common humanity.
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