Hindsight is 2020

As the hue of the sky transition from the radiant orange of dawn to the subtle mauve of dusk so it is that we find ourselves one night closer to where the difference of a day means not just a day, but a new month, a new year, and a new decade.  

In the lull that exists between the high holidays and the beckoning of a new year, it is customary if not innate to our nature that we take a quiet moment to reflect upon the time that has passed and to judge how we measure up.  I pray it will not be a disquieting endeavour, and that you will remain most gentle and kind to yourself throughout the process.  For we are at our most vulnerable in the honest hours between dusk and dawn, when there is nothing to distract us from our inner voices.  

Obviously, there will be numerous examples of imperfections and shortcomings, of foibles and missed opportunities - that's all good, all the reasons to improve upon in the coming year.  But don't be overly self-critical that you invite unnecessary regrets and grief.  Nor allow yourself to be bowed low by any lack of closure, unresolved circumstances, inexplicable experiences, and ineffable emotions.  For if you really look at it, time is a human construct, life moves on, and we cycle through.  

In the words of Alexander Dumas, 
“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life. Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, 'Wait and Hope.'” 

So it is, my dear friends and family, as you are reading this, that I wish for you in these moments of reflection that you do not give in to despair, nor cave to the "new year new you" mentality to the point that you seek to remove the "old you".  May you find that you are good enough, that your potentials are infinite.  Most importantly, despite what, where, and how you feel you may be lacking, the truth is you are wholesome in my eyes and remain ever so loved. 

I can't wait to hear from you this time next year, I am sure 2020 will be one great year to look back on -  after all, it is truly the year of hindsight.

Make mistakes

I know I am still relatively young, but if there is something I would have liked to tell me younger self it would have been, "I wish you to make more mistakes, or at least have the courage to do so."

You see, we have worked too hard to be prepared, be perfect, to go through life unscathed; and in a way we have been successful, ta-da? But we have been too successful, and because of that we have failed as we remain relatively untried, naive, and easily brought low by circumstances.

I wish you have been more brazen, that you would have gone up to a girl, ask her out, fall madly in love, and be utterly crushed when it didn't work out. I wish you would dared to have taken that random road trip, got on a bus, got utterly lost and had to figure your way back. I wish you would have bought that ticket, flown to a place where you don't know the language, hop on to trains, and visit with people and places that you will never forget.

I wish you have made more mistakes because sometimes life is about blundering through, finding out you were wrong but growing stronger because of it. I wish you have made more mistakes when you have the chance because chances are they would have led to greater things.

I wish you would have made more mistakes when we were younger, because boy it is getting increasingly harder to bounce back as we grow older.

But don't you fret, you remain my inner child, and together we will refuse to be set in our ways, and together we will try not to shy away from future mistakes in hope they will lead us to be a better, polished, well-rounded, wisen person.