Halloween presents a paradox for me. On the one hand I absolutely abhor horror films. I think it has to do with the fact that I am a neurotic person to began with (yes, I admit to it), and the "fear factor" just triggers in too much reaction and prolong residual effects. I can honestly say I haven't watched a horror movie in a really really long time.
On the other hand, I find myself quite enamor with the idea of taking up another mantle, putting a mask on All Hallow's Eve. All Hallow's Eve, when the barrier that stands between our world and the paranormal or supernatural are at its thinnest. When immortals and monsters alike can put on a guise and roam in our midst, free to either pray upon the mortals (treat) or trick each other out of their powers. For some reason, that notion intrigues me.
I am not sure what it says about me. I do know that for as long as I can remember, I have been a bit of an old soul. I recall different lives and memories, and never quite feel a part of any one generation. Inwardly, being out of sorts and feeling out of place comes natural. Outwardly, it adds an intensity which I realize can be frightening for other. So, to put others at ease, I have adept and be different character to different people and different groups. They are all part of me, ranging from the goofy pun loving Andy, to the dark and brooding Andy. There are all these masks, and somewhere beneath them is the true me who wears them.
Day to day, it is different masks. Yet for one night, I can choose and live out one persona in full without a care, and no one would know the difference. It is the closest I can be to myself without having to accommodate for others. How liberating, how delicious the thought. I can be archaic, and people would think it is just a costume. I can be blatantly out of place, and would still blend in splendidly. So while I am terribly afraid of horror, I heartily embrace the spirit of All Hallow's Eve.
