What it means to be manly?

I think somewhere along the way we got it wrong about how we teach boys to become men. Somehow, there is this notion floated about that to be manly and confident is to be loud, to come off strong, and uncompromising. To be angrily defiant in the face of any challenger and accusations made. 

We fixate on the hero narrative. That a man must overcome many obstacles, that he must struggle and accomplish many great feats of strength. Yet, we seem to forget that with whom the hero wrestles most often and must triumph over is not some mystical beast or lion, but the devil within himself. 

We overlook quiet confidence, the perseverance to endure the mundane, and the courage to admit one's shortcoming. We neglect the ability to be vulnerable, to care, to think beyond oneself, to show compassion. 

We erroneously worship the boastful, the prideful, the one who claims he is the better man. All the meanwhile we discounted the ones who are truly striving to be a better person than he was a moment ago, a day ago, or even years before - to be a better human for the next person. 

The result? We have men who are entitled, who are insecure and easily threatened. Who are vile and petty and cruel, and predatorial. We have men who lack reason, question science and possess little wisdom. We have a man who believes too much and thinks too highly of himself. We have a man who never quite grew up or conquer his demons. We have men like the ones we saw today, who talk over and shout down others.

- Written following the Nomination Hearing for the appointment of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court 

Humor

I try to find the humor in everyday life's occurrences, if I don't I think I would be in tears, which I suppose is needed from time to time, but not as much as a smile.

Life is funny if we stop to look at it; filled with its absurdities. The idiosyncrasies and peccadilloes that we each adhere to ultimately shields laughable irrationalities. I know, for I have been known for my quirkiness. In fact, I have often found myself the object of my own amusement and entertainment. There are innumerable instances whereby through self inspection I discover my penchant for idiotic and often quixotic notions.

 I am therefore grateful that first and foremost I can laugh at myself. From there, it is not that difficult to have a ready chuckle and an easy smile because suddenly I have levity. It is only right that life of such brevity should be lived in much gaiety.

Puzzlement

We are taught that we are part of a big puzzle, which I think is beautiful. However, often times the emphasis is placed upon being able to fit, rather than acknowledge that each jigsaw piece is different, with different edges, and different colours. 

We don't stress enough that it is perfectly okay to be on the other side of the puzzle or even on the fringe. We don't all need to be in the same space, but we definitely need each other to complete the picture. 

Heck, we may even be scattered all about and far from "our people". That being said, chances are, in the course of solving the puzzle, we will gravitate towards those who share similar traits, thoughts, colours, contours, and texture. As long as we are willing to connect, and find it within each of us to jive, then ultimately we will fit despite our differences. 

And, sometimes we may feel like that one piece that lingers on the periphery, discarded, forgotten. But wait long enough, who knows, we may just be that piece that finishes the puzzle. 

So hold fast to your individuality, don't trim yourself to fit in, and don't force others to fit you. If it is meant to be, it will be. You have just got to have faith that we are all pieces of a big puzzle, and we belong.