Core

Strengthen your core. I don't mean that in just the literal sense - building abs and all that kind of stuff. I mean it as in your values, your principles. Be true to yourself, be the best that you can be, and constantly perfect yourself. There will be tons of people who will want to influence you, who wants you to be mode a certain way; they would want to change you They would want you to feel responsible to them, beholden and the such, more than you ought to be. I am not saying you stand rigid against all of that, yield when you must. At the end of the day, if you have a strong core, if you know yourself, what you are capable of, and what you can sacrifice without losing yourself, your dignity, your integrity, your vision and purpose, then you will never be truly threatened. You will never be downtrodden no matter how oppressing and intimidating the world may be. The winds may howl, the waves may crash upon the rocks, but still you will stand, a beacon to those who truly matters.

Necessity of evil (draft)

During college I took a course in Philosophy of Religion.  Among the various subjects that were discussed was the necessity of evil; the notion that evil not only exists but is necessary.  I don't recall much of the theories, the proponent and the dissidents  (I do apologize to my professor for she taught the subject well, I am just a poor student), I do recall it being a rather sensitive subject sparking off passionate diatribes.  

As someone who was brought up in the Eastern thought of Yin versus Yang, it was a given to me that evil exists, and that a higher, omnipotent, omniscient being who has all qualities of good would allow it so.  Yet, it was not until recently that I began fully to appreciate just how much evil can exist, and that it is necessary for goodness to follow.  

One of the things I struggled with early on was the notion that G-d can be evil, and that He ordains it so that His triumph is more apparent.  For example, it was necessary for Judas to betray Jesus, there was no other option, it was pre-ordained.  To me, that was the crux of it all, that Gd allows for evil to happen, that it is necessitated in order to drive home a point.  

The past few months, I have struggled tremendously against what I thought was pure evil.  Perhaps it is not evil in the heinous sense, the likes of Hitler and Pol Pot, but evil nonetheless.  I met up against evil in its sneaky form- of pettiness, of selfishness, of egos.  I saw the devil in its artful attire- the one that reminds us that before they were called the fallen, they were once angels.   Yes, there exists evil that knows how to come off looking all saintly and righteous.  There is evil who makes the oppressed come across as paranoid and unreasonable.  It is a most frustrating thing, evil that does not fight fair.  

What is more frightening is the realization that I am very much capable of that same evil, to fall readily to that level.  It is like entropy, the natural order of things to reflect the evil that I see in others within myself.   Oh, how delicious my thoughts became when filled with notions of vengeance, of righting the wrongs, of making those who have brought evil rue the day they did so.  Yet, by those very thoughts alone, I became equally guilty.  I failed to realize that evil is perhaps necessary to bring out a greater good.  Oh, it is so easy to sink to their level, but that is not the point.  The point is to see beyond, and realize something good, something better will come out of it, and that it is within us to be greater, to rise above the evil we see, and overcome it.  

It behooves us to stand against evil, even when it may appear we are severely outclassed. It does not follows that if we can't beat it, we join it.  No, evil does exists, and it is hard to beat it, but the solution is not to join in, however easy that may be. Evil exists, but it cannot do so without the very goodness that we are equally capable of manifesting.   I shall know evil by its name, and I shall seek to be better, and not the same.  I shall not be made to bow low, to be debased nor relegated to a reduced sense of self by resonating evil.  No, I am greater and better than that, and I believe that goodness runs deep, especially in the face of evil.   Evil is necessary to magnify the godness in goodness.

I hear you Lord

When was the last time I enjoyed solitude and tranquility? It seemed such a long time ago since I  last made myself stop to sit and be still. It has been such a long time since I have listened to the voice of my own heart, and be comforted in knowing that You are still within me. Yea, I have wandered far, driven by my own desires. So far that I no longer recognized Your calling until now, when I am made to stand and survey the mess about me. My plans have fallen apart, and I no longer know where I stand and what I should do next. Far into the land of shadows I have ventured, but I know that somewhere there is light for neither shadow and light can exist without the other; just as there can be no faith without the doubt. So draw me to You once more, let Your grace relieve me of my sorrows. Let Your love soothe all the pain that has wrecked my whole. Hear me, for I know despite me being blind and deaf at times, You see me and hear me always.