I find myself as a spectre drifting aimlessly down memory lane. Little spells of random nostalgia, reliving events that once carried much meaning my life. Funny how nostalgia works, it filters out much of the unpleasantness of the past, and present it in a more desirable light. I am not saying my past was that bad, after all it was memorable. Yet, I cannot help but feel bittersweet as the scenes unfold themselves before my mind’s eyes. These were happy memories of incidences that can never be again. One time occurrences forever embedded in my being to preserve me, to keep me motivated towards my tomorrows in hopes that I may find something similar if not better. Still, I find myself missing these experiences dearly. The places I have been, the familiar faces of people whom I have become intimate with, these are what shaped me. Yet, time has placed distance between me and these very things that have defined me over the years. In nostalgia I revisit them, while being painfully aware that they can never be again.
I have at one time promised that I will not let go, that I will not forget, and yet my reveries revealed to me that there is much that I have chosen to forgotten. I have suppressed much, and have definitely lost touch with many whom my heart still holds dear to, I hope they too remember me with fondness in my absence. There were many firsts, many of which felt at the time to be bungled attempts at best, but now in retrospect weren’t that bad at all. I realize as I peruse the ruffled pages of my past that I have matured over the years in ways not imagined before. I owe my present existence to the many people who have defined it, enriched it, and spurred it onwards. Many of these people I may never get the chance to speak to again, but if ever I can get the chance to, or should they somehow come across this, THANK YOU!
My life has meaning simply because my past allows me the courage to move on, my present to endure with integrity, and the future to live with hope. I can look myself in the mirror each day and smile because I saw reflected a composite of all those who have made each day worthwhile. I may have lost touch with a lot of you, but your presence and significance still lingers on. I may perhaps dwell in nostalgia, but I can only do so because you have all made it possible. My past is worth remembering because it is a bridge forged to carry me to the present, and I am forever grateful to those who have worked hard to make it as secured as can be.
